The Code of Fanhood

Yesterday, I declared my candidacy for fanhood of the New York Islanders.

I have only recently gotten into the sport of hockey after watching last year's playoffs and playing hundreds of NHL '10-'12 matchups on Xbox. I decided to declare my candidacy for the Islanders because I can't be accused of bandwagoning (they currently suck) and Howie Rose (the radio voice of the Mets) does the play-by-play.

These recent developments have had me wondering what makes a real fan of a team, so for my first ever blog post, I wrote my interpretation of The Code of Fanhood.

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I. [a] If born into a fanhood, it is automatically legitimate, [b] even if the parents' fanhood is illegitimate.

II. [a] All fanhood of one's college(s) is legitimate, regardless of dedication. [b] All fanhood of the colleges one's direct family attended (parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, first cousins) is legitimate. [c] All fanhood of the colleges in one's hometown area is legitimate, regardless of matriculation. [d] 'Clause a' overrides 'clause c' if a rivalry should exist between the two schools. [e] All other college fanhoods are illegitimate.

III. [a] Betrayals render all fanhood illegitimate — the fanhood defected from and the fanhood defected to. [b] A betrayal is classified as changing allegiances without proper cause. [c] Examples of proper cause include a team leaving a city, a person moving to another city, a team giving up or a team failing to abide by the codes of sportsmanship and ethics.  [d] All new fanhood in this instance will automatically replace the old fanhood. [g] Examples of improper cause includes bandwagoning, ceding to the fanhood of a friend or significant other, or following a favorite player to his new team.

IV. [a] All fanhood based off individual players is illegitimate. [b] All fanhood based off a team's colors or uniform design is illegitimate. [c] All fanhood based off other trivial reasoning is illegitimate. 

V. [a] Multiple fanhoods within the same professional league are not permitted. [b] In the case of Section I, as many as three fanhoods may interfere with one another — the father's fanhood, the mother's fanhood, and the local fanhood. As a child is growing up, he or she may test the waters of each fanhood to see which one they like best. [c] These fanhoods are pending. [d] When the child is 12 or 13-years old, they are expected to have settled into one fanhood and stick to it, or else all fanhoods become illegitimate. [e] This section does not apply toward college sports. 

VI. [a] Dedication is not a factor in maintaining legitimate fanhood, whether a team is playing well or poorly. Everybody leads busy lives, and not everyone can watch every game. [b] Dedication is a factor in declaring legitimate fanhood.

VII. [a] One may declare a candidacy for fanhood if they have proper cause to defect or if they are without a fanhood in a professional league. [b] Fanhood cannot be declared in college sports. [c] Fanhood declared for one local team before the age of 12 or 13 (see Section V, 'clause d') is automatically legitimate. [d] Fanhood declared for a new local franchise, regardless of age, is automatically legitimate. [e] All other instances of declared fanhood are pending until dedication requirements are achieved. [f] Dedication will be classified as watching no less than 60 percent of all a potential playoff team's regular season contests and no less than 75 percent of all playoff contests for one full season, [g] or watching no less than 40 percent of a potential non-playoff team's regular season contests for one full season.

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The Islanders decision stirred the pot for me, but this whole code is actually based off a discussion I once had with my grandfather about the history of my New York Mets fanhood. He was a lifelong New York Giants fan until they moved to San Francisco in 1957. He was a National League guy, but he couldn't switch to the Brooklyn Dodgers because they also moved to California that year (not sure he would have anyway). And he sure as hell wasn't switching to the Yankees. He was left without a team until the Mets formed in 1962, when he automatically declared his fanhood by means of "Section III, clause c" and "Section VII, clause d."